yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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