the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
