I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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