If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
