He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
