Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just google imaged poop.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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