please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
