I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I AM VODKA MAN
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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