We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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