you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
