That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
