Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
