scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Will exercising make me less horny?
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