I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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