You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
