This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i wish my penis had a tongue
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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