It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
