He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize