so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
