u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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