i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
