Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
