Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
