I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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