and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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