I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
