i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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