Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
