I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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