the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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