I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
