If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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