Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
