Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There's always time for handjobs
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
