Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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