I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
