She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sext me about skeletons
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
