just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
