i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
