how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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