she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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