and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
