You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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