Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
