i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
