alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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