The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
