They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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