Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize