Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

I need hand sanitizer and jesus.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win

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(330): View more from Ohio

giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex

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(641): View more from Iowa

He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'

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