Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
As shirtless as possible
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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