i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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