You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
