Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy

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(513): View more from Ohio

Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?

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(214): View more from Texas

It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I just did the classiest thing ever.

(216): View more from Ohio

last time you said that you got chlamydia.

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(443): View more from Maryland

do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?

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(419): View more from Ohio

... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.

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(714): View more from California

I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.

(1-714): View more from California

DAD WTF

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(850): View more from Florida

I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes

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