I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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