therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
