Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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