what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
