And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
where are you?
Hypothermia
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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