There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it's like iHOP with fire
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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