No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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