Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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